BOB

but so is God!

Through the years I have walked the journey through depression with a lot of people. Today I want to share my personal journey through depression with all of you, not to draw attention to myself, but to hopefully restore hope to someone, and for God to get all the glory!

I will say it again, depression is real. The depression I am talking about today is not the type of depression where you are just sad because everything didn’t go your way. I am talking about a depression that alters the way you think, the way you act, the way you sleep; basically, the totality of how you function as an individual.

My journey began when I was just a young man, married, with a beautiful wife and two amazing kids, a little boy, and a little girl (ages 3 and 1). I am not exactly sure what caused it or how it started, all I know is I found myself with a great little family, a good job, a nice home, but none of this seemed to help. As I can recall, my usual behavior of laughing, playing with the kids, hanging out with my wife and family, all came to a screeching halt for no reason at all. I began secluding myself, crying for no reason; I wouldn’t eat, and the only escape I had was to sleep, which I tried to do as much as possible. The only problem was, when I woke up, depression was waiting to greet me, it seemed there was no escape. I tried everything I could think of to get some relief. I tried counseling, I tried medication, and yes, the thought of ending it all crossed my mind several times. It wasn’t what I wanted to do, but I needed some relief from this daily torture of depression. I had several people praying for me, I went to church as much as the depression would allow, but the depression continued. I finally hit rock bottom and told my wife that I needed to check myself into a hospital to try to get help because this had to end, either through their help, God’s help, or me checking out of this life. I remember the day we walked into that hospital room, bars on the windows and bars on the doors; people staggering around the halls completely unaware of their surroundings. As I sat on the edge of the hospital bed the tears began to flow and I looked at my wife and my sister and begged them not to leave me in that place. They both told me they wouldn’t, and my wife conveyed this to the nurse. She had my wife and I meet with a gentleman who I assume was head over the mental health department, and we told him we weren’t staying (We were able to do that because I had checked myself in). With that said, the gentleman looked at my wife and said, “If you take him out of here, he will blow his head off within a week.” It goes without saying, this was not what we were hoping to hear but nonetheless we left and went back to my sister’s house. When we got there, my wife, my sister, and my brother-in-law immediately began to speak the Name of Jesus over my situation and from that moment on (it was not instantaneous) I began the process of walking out of depression.

I had several people praying for me, so why hadn’t it happened sooner? I have no idea. All I know is that when God said it was time for depression to end, it ended. If it were not for the strength that God had given me throughout this ordeal (it lasted over a year) I would have never made it. I’ll never forget the first time I was asked to talk to an individual who was suffering with depression. What I had went through all made sense then. Before I was qualified to help someone through depression, I needed to experience it myself. As scripture says in the book of Ezekiel, “I sat where they sat.” Since this time (40 years ago) my wife and I, through the help of God have been able to help a number of people walk through their journey with depression and be victorious.

Simply put, depression is real, but so is God! I promise you, He will walk with you every step of the way, and the day will come that you too will help others because you were willing to sit where they sat!